Los Angeles, CA – Former King of Pop, Michael Jackson, announced today that he is no longer going to be starting with the man in the mirror. Citing nausea and an overwhelming lack of self-recognition as the key factors in his decision, Jackson said “I realized this morning that the man in the mirror is kind of hard to look at. I’m not sure what I’ve got going on on my face anymore but I’m done with it. I’ve lost my appetite recently and frankly I’m not sure how you’re even able to interview me right now.”
Asked how he will avoid looking in a mirror, Jackson replied “I’m going to cover all the mirrors in Wonderland with inspirational quotes and pictures of waterfalls and unicorns floating above them. I want to get inspired when I see these pictures. It’ll be a lot better than what I had going on before.” It is believed to be the first time a person has ever traded in their looks for inspirational quotes and unicorns.
This marks the 675th consecutive story about Michael Jackson that holds no bearing to his musical talents.
Tags: michael jackson
March 13, 2008 at 5:08 pm
[...] the 675th consecutive story about Michael Jackson that holds no bearing to his musical talents. Michael Jackson no longer starting with the man in the mirror 64bit headlines tzzz… __________________ “I’m not J.acko, I’m Jackson… ‘W.acko J.acko’ – Where did [...]
February 22, 2009 at 2:36 am
Will that include the mirror above the homosexual pedophile’s bed?
February 28, 2009 at 8:14 am
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